Faize Sheifa Beleth (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
symbologic) wrote2016-03-28 06:39 pm
symbologic) wrote2016-03-28 06:39 pm
Entry tags:
>>Week 7; Monday, 12pm; Hajime Hinata
[Faize keeps a firm grip on Hinata's wrist, continuing to lead him up the stairs and then into room 102. Only once they are safely inside does he offer an explanation, still giving Hinata an incredulous look.]
I was attempting to be discreet, Hajime! I thought you would appreciate that, given that you are clearly more bothered by this motive than you would like any of us to believe.
[Really...dude...he knows he's not great at this whole emoting thing but give him some credit here. He's not so hopeless that he believes oj is the answer to all your problems.]
I was attempting to be discreet, Hajime! I thought you would appreciate that, given that you are clearly more bothered by this motive than you would like any of us to believe.
[Really...dude...he knows he's not great at this whole emoting thing but give him some credit here. He's not so hopeless that he believes oj is the answer to all your problems.]
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[Okay, so he's still got a little ways to go when it comes to this sort of thing. But lord is he tryin.]
[For a few moments, he says nothing. Just content to hug Hinata since that DOES seem to be helping and he's not certain anything he could say would really do anything, given the circumstances. But after a few moments, he does finally speak, in a quiet, calm voice:]
You are wrong, you know. [A beat.] Even if this is true...Hajime Hinata is more than just "some talentless Reserve Course student". Much more. [Hinata can't see it since he's got his face smushed into Faize's shoulder, but he can likely hear the soft smile that's crept onto Faize's face.] At least, that is what I believe. And I am certain I am not the only one who would say the same.
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[Hinata's quiet for almost a full minute after Faize speaks, just keeping his face pressed against Faize's shoulder and shaking. He's still not crying! It still just hurts, a profound longing and emptiness.]
You don't know that, [he mumbles finally, dragging in a ragged breath and still not pulling his face away from the other's shoulder. He can't look at him right now.] I'm... all my life, I've just wanted to be someone. T-to be a member of society. To be someone I could be proud of! Not some... not some fucking backup student!
[--Ah. He mad. At least he's finally feeling something other than pain, that's a start.]
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I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you truly believe that people like Poland and Lithuania... like Clover, Alisha, Urashima...that people like Roxy can only see worth in you if you have some spectacular talent. I understand that this is upsetting for you, I understand wanting to be somebody. To be a useful part of something greater than yourself. You have every right to be upset right now, but don't you dare insult us by saying that I do not know that much for a fact.
[Okay, we gotta get this out of the way before we start addressing everything else. Don't make him literally slap sense into you, Hinata...]
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Or, well, he was going to try. At being directly told to look at him, Hinata does, squaring his shoulders as if preparing an argument. But as Faize speaks, his entire expression falters, and his lips press tightly together. The chilled edge to Faize's voice hurts in its own way, of course, cutting into him and forcing him to listen, even if he doesn't want to hear.
He opens his mouth to try to argue that no, they all think I have a talent, but the words die in his throat before he can say them. He'd learned quickly those first few days that no one cared about Hope's Peak or what it stood for. No one cared about his forgotten talent.
And he takes a deep breath and rips his gaze away from Faize's, resting his elbows on his knees and grinding his palms into his eyeballs as if that might somehow help him erase what he'd seen.]
N-no, that's not... I know that, Faize, but how'm I... I'm just an ordinary person. I'm nobody important!
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pansyweenie and look him in the face when you talk to him.][Hinata's next response doesn't seem to make him any happier, however. In fact, his frown only deepens. And when he speaks, his tone is one of severe disappointment.]
Is talent really all that you use to judge the worth of a person?
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He flinches at what sounds like an accusation, keeping his palms firmly pressed into his eyeballs.]
N-no, that's wrong, but I'm...!
[It's hard for him to put into words. It's different when it's him? And everyone else in this entire town has something special about them, even if for Sadie it's less talent and more her... everything else.
He's having some difficulty breathing, because now he's choking back tears more of frustration than anything else.]
I'm not like all of you guys. I'm not even... If I'm... if I'm really just Reserve Course, then my classmates... they wouldn't even be my classmates, Faize. What... what am I even supposed to go back to, if we all get out of here?!
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Forgive me, but it certainly sounds as though that is what you were trying to imply. Or is it that you mistakenly believe you can hold yourself to a completely different standard than everyone else?
[...oops, okay that was a little harsh, wasn't it? Yeah...probably. Faize sighs. Hold on, let him try that again. In a less accusatory tone. Melt that ice a little.]
Hajime...it sounds to me as though you put far too much stock in talent. Either that, or you are still selling yourself far too short. And perhaps I am the last person you want to hear that from, but I assure you...lacking talent does not make you nobody. I cannot stress this point to you enough. You are Hajime Hinata, and though you may be an ordinary human being, you are an admirable one. One that I am proud to call one of my closest friends.
Regardless of whether or not you have a great talent or none at all, that fact will not change. I admire you for the qualities you possess. Qualities that have nothing to do with any sort of quantifiable skill or ability. You are a strong person, Hajime. You are brave and loyal, kind-hearted and honest...and you always seem to know exactly what to do or say in any given situation, especially where the feelings or others are concerned. Relating to others in such a way... [He shakes his head.] that is not something that just anybody can do. And it's certainly not something that a nobody could accomplish. Truthfully, it is one of the things I admire most about you. At times, I even find myself envious of this ability of yours.
[Maybe framing it that way will make Hinata see it as something worthwhile?]
As to what you will do when we leave... [When. Not if. When.] Truthfully, that is something you will need to discover for yourself. However...I will at least say that a lack of talent is no reason to give up on these desires you have held for so long. [The whole "be somebody to be proud of", "be a useful member of society" thing.] With enough dedication and hard work, I believe that you can achieve them.
[Shoot for the stars, Earth boy.]
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[He can't refute any of these points, only weakly start to try when Faize says he holds himself to a different standard. Because when he puts it like that... it's true. He wants to hold himself up to the standards of a Super High School Level, because all his life, just being "ordinary"... it wasn't enough. Being average meant being ignored. And that was fine for other people, but if he wanted to amount to anything, he had to have something special about him. Something that would make people take notice, something that he could rely on as what he was meant to do, something he could finally be confident in.
Hinata might not be able to remember a lot of things, but... the more Faize speaks, the more Hinata comes to realize that he's never heard anyone say anything like that before. All the things he'd never taken notice of, because they were normal, because they were natural and never recognized... when Faize talks about it, it makes it mean something. That someone like Faize could truly admire him...
He takes a deep, shuddering breath, pressing his palms harder against his eyes to try to stem a sudden swell of tears. Is that all he'd wanted? Was someone to acknowledge him? Even he doesn't know, and he certainly can't answer. All he can do is gasp for breath, choking back his own tears without much success.]
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[The tears on the other hand...not so much. That is not what he was aiming for at all, and since Hinata still has his face in his hands, Faize can't actually tell what kind of tears these are.]
[...shit.]
[Hinata, he literally just gone done telling you that he wishes he had your ability to comfort others. He has no idea what he's supposed to do here.]
U-uhmm... [HOW DOES HE MAKE THE TEARS STOP? This is different than when Alisha came and cried on him a few weeks back. That wasn't his fault. He could just give her a tissue and say a few reassuring things and bam, problem solved.] I-It was not my intent to upset you further. But as I said, this is not an area in which I excel, so if you would prefer to speak to...someone else...
[Fuck, anybody would be a better option than Faize here.]
Or even if you would just prefer to be alone, that is perfectly understandable as well, and I will leave without another word.
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[God damn it Faize, just let him have his cry in peace? Because when the other boy says that, clearly not understanding, Hinata can only laugh. It's a weird sound, to be sure, because laughing while crying at the same time? Not usually the kind of things that go together.]
N-no, Faize...
[Shit, he can't stop laughing now. He's on this emotional roller coaster and apparently can't get off, what the fuck. Let him off?? It's a helpless laughter as he shakes his head, trying to wipe his eyes with already-wet palms.]
I'm just... n-no one's ever... said anything like that to me.
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[Oh thank god. Faize sighs in relief, letting out a short, nervous chuckle of his own. Okay, this is fine. He didn't make things worse, at least. Though he's not certain if this can truly be considered "better". He disappears briefly into the bathroom, returning with a box of tissues which he holds out to Hinata. Here bro. Your hands are too wet to dry your gross dangan tears.]
Even if they have never said so, I have little doubt that others have noticed. It is incredibly hard not to do so, after all.
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It still hurts, an empty ache in the center of his chest to know that by the standards of where he comes from, he's nobody important. But maybe... maybe Faize is right. He's still shaking from the emotion, but at least he's not crying nearly as hard, just hiding his face behind the tissues.]
T-thanks... thanks, Faize, [he manages finally, when he trusts his voice enough to stay steady. It's a little hoarse, but it doesn't seem like he'll be breaking back into tears immediately, at least?]
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Of course. I know that this is very difficult news for you, Hajime, but...so long as you keep moving forward in spite of it, you should be just fine. And know that I am here to assist you, in whatever way that I can.
[So...it'll be alright, man.]
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I... thanks, Faize. [You said that already, dude.] ...I mean it. You're right, I just... have to keep moving forward and... do my best. We both will.
[Finally blows his nose into the tissues... still gross, but slightly less gross than trying to snot it back where it came from.]
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[Faize doesn't actually say this though, but rather smiles even more brightly. Apparently agreeing that he has to keep moving forward was the right answer. He looks really pleased to hear Hinata say that.]
If ever you need to talk about it again, you know where to find me.